Wedding Bliss
by Alurax
Summary: funness at a obscure wedding don't ask why i wrote this


_Someone explain to me why we have to make a disclaimer on a website that's titled "FANFIC"... i mean, seriously... whut's the sense in that?_

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"Sorry no animals allowed." The red-haired Turk grinned, holding a hand up to the Avalanche party. "And that includes demon dogs."

Nanaki shook his head. Figured he wouldn't be counted as a normal animal by now. "Surely you can make an exception."

Reno shook his head. He could but it was more fun to torment them. "Nope, sorry."

"Here's your exception." Barret easilly lifted the Turk up by the color of his pressed suit, slamming him into the wall of the doorframe. "We all got invitations to this damn thing, so we're comin in."

"And that includes demon dogs." Yuffie sneered in a mocking tone, her hands on her hips.

Vincent just rolled his eyes at the derogative terms in which they refered to him. Meanwhile holding his husband back by his arm.

With Reno standing by to allow them into the sanctuary, the group walked past. The Turk grinned, cupping his hands around his mouth calling after them. "Careful you don't catch flames, eh Valentine." Cid was ready to whip around and send his teeth down his throat, when Vincent gripped tighter, whispering fiercly in his ear. "We're in a church."

"So. Call it an act of salvation to my ears."

Rude walked up and smacked his partner in the back of the head. "YOWCH! Hey, what'd ya do that for, yo? I was just foolin."

Rude folded his arms. The fact that he wasn't wearing his glasses just made that look even more impactful. "We're here for Tseng. It's not enough that we got you to straighten up your suit. Do not harass the guests."

Reno huffed. "But they make it so easy. And you know how much I hate wearing this tie, yo."

Rude smacked his hands as he started to fiddle with it. "You can't take that off, yet."

A slick smile crossed the red-head's lips. "So I can take it off later?"

Rude attempted to hide his own grin from the tone in his partner's voice. "Of course you can."

Reno's glee spread as he stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. "Y'know, yo… I'm not used to wearing a suit like this. I may need some help with it."

Rude cocked an eyebrow. "Are you really that incompetant?"

A small pout found his lips. "I think I may be?" He spoke in a soft wimper, grasping his partner's tie. Using it as a leash, he pulled the dark-skinned man down to meet his lips.

Rude drew back and smiled. "You're wrinkling my suit."

"I do that."

"But I need it to look good at least a little longer."

"Aww." Reno pouted, kissing him again. "But it's so much fun to mess it up, yo."

Rude slid his arms around the red-head's waist, pulling him closer. "I'll let you destroy my suit when it's our turn. How bout that?"

A mischievous grin found Reno's face. "Is that a promise?"

"Sure." Rude kissed his partner again, then smacked him on the butt. "Now go see how Tseng's doing."

"Alright." Reno groaned, reluctantly letting go and heading on down the stairs.

xXx

"Explain to me again why we gotta deal with the damn Turks?" Barret huffed, trying to keep the sleeve of his jacket from sliding up over his gun arm.

"We're here for Reeve. It's a big day for him." Tifa patted his arm. "Besides… you just came for the food. The least you can do is sit tight till then."

Barret groaned, giving up on his sleeve. "I just think I shoulda gotten a bigger suit. But at least Marlene looks cute in her dress." He beamed up at his daughter, walking ahead of them, and talking vividly to Denzel - even if he wasn't really paying much attention.

"So, where's Reeve anyway?" Cid stated, getting more and more agrivated at the hand still clamped to his arm. "Ya can let go, now. I'm not gonna beat him up anymore."

"I don't trust you, yet."

"I think he's this way."

Cloud cocked an eyebrow at the little ninja, who was looking uncharacteristacly grown-up in her navy blue sun dress. "How do you know?"

Yuffie just winked at him. "It's an old Wutai ninja trick. You wouldn't understand."

"Yea… sure, Kid."

xXx

Reno sauntered up to where Tseng was, whistling a happy little tune. Completely at ease with the world. He stopped at the door, and read the sign that said 'Bridal party', and couldn't help but laugh.

"Ugh, Tseng-sama, hold still." Elena called from the other side of the door.

Reno poked his head in and announced his arrival with a casual, "Knock knock."

Tseng hadn't even noticed his entrance. He was sitting on a bench, gazing off into the mirror in front of him. His knee was bounceing at an alarming rate, as he gnawed on his thumb nail.

Elena smacked at his hands. "And stop that, I just did those nails."

Reno scoafed. "If they can't withstand wedding day jitters, then you don't need to do anyones nails, yo."

Elena just responded with a silent rasberry.

"And what the hell are you trying to do with his hair?"

Elena had been working to try and get his hair into some kinda fancy style that still retained an essense of manlyness…. Unfortunately, all she could come up with was a ponytail. "Oh, like you're one to talk. Looks like you styled your hair with a weed wacker."

"Hey." Reno held up a scolding finger. "I worked hard to get my hair like this." He pointed to his hair. "I had to sleep in just the perfect position for ten hours just to get this side to flare right."

Elena just rolled her eyes.

"Besides." Reno pushed her away and pulled the thong from Tseng's hair.

"Hey."

"They say that you should try to look like yourself on your wedding day. Chief doesn't normally wear his hair up, yo." He patted Tseng on the shoulder. "Right, Chief?"

Tseng started, finally realizing Reno was there. "Huh? Oh, uh…. Yea… right."

Reno gently rubbed his shoulders. "Ya gotta relax, Chief. It won't do ya any good to get all worked up like this."

Tseng snorted. "Easy for you to say. How would you feel if you were about to marry the love of your life? Even you would be nervous, Reno."

Reno thought about that for a little bit. "Well…. I think Rude may've just proposed… not too sure. But I'm already screwin him. We already live together. He's always telling me what to do. So, I guess I really don't see a difference, yo."

Tseng glanced back at him. "But you'll be commiting yourself fully to him. Everything you are. Everything you have."

Reno mocked shock. "OH NO…. Living with Rude for all eternity. Only having sexx with him. Oh, what a horror."

Tseng flushed slightly, turning back ahead. "Not everything's about sexx, Reno."

"Yea, I know. But it seems like a lot of people get married just to have sexx now. Some BS about it being sacred. As far as I'm concerned, Rude and I are already married. And it seemed like you and Tuesti were too."

"We um… we haven't had sexx."

Reno's hands stopped moving. "You… you haven't? Bu-but you two were-"

"Just because we spent a few nights together doesn't mean we had sexx."

"That's exactly what it means. How do you stay over-night with a man you gotta raging hard-on for, and not fuck him? Just doesn't seem plausible, yo."

Tseng glared back at him. "Some people have more restraint than a sexxed up perv, like you, Reno."

"………… Ouch. Aim a little higher next time, Chief. Think ya missed my heart."

xXx

"HEY, REEVE!!" Yuffie beamed, rushing into the room, to throw her arms around the gittery groom-to-be.

Reeve hugged her back, possibly squeezing a bit more than he meant to. "Hey, Yuffie."

"Good of you all to finally show up." Rufus stood from where he was sitting with Reeve. "It's not nice to leave your friend alone like this. Especially on such an important day."

"Oh please." Cid snarled. "You're only here cause your paying for the damn thing."

Rufus smirked, eyeing Vincent. "Are you just upset that I didn't pay for your little union?" He turned his attention back to Cid. "Obviously you needed it, considering who was involved."

Vincent conveniently loosened his grip on his husband's arm, telling himself that he was testing Cid's willpower.

"We don't need nothin from you!!" The pilot snapped.

"Guys, come on." Reeve stepped in between them, still shaking. "This is supposed to be a happy day. Don't fight."

Cid sighed, falling back. "Yer right, Reeve." It took him a second to realize that Vincent had completely let go of his arm. He glanced back at him for a bit, trying to figure out when… the sly smirk on the gunman's face told him everything. Cid grinned, sliding an arm around his waist, kissing him on the cheek.

Rufus mearly shook his head. "I'll just go see how my head-Turk is fairing." He headed out the door. "See you all later."

Cloud sneered, jamming his thumb towards the door. "Is he in the wedding?"

Reeve shuffled his feet, a slight blush touching his cheek. "It was one of the conditions for him to pay for it. He's Tseng's best man."

Cid sneered. "Damn Rufus." He mumbled under his breath. Vincent patted him on the shoulder.

Cid was Reeve's best man, and if they did this right… that means he'd have to walk down with him. For once, he was hoping Rufus would make a big deal about his entrance and go down on his own. It was a bit awkward when he and Vincent got married. If it had been to anyone else, they would've been each other's best man… so they just screwed the rules completely and walked down together. No one else was even in the wedding party, but they could stand up there if they wanted to.

As far as Reeve and Tseng's wedding was concerned, everything seemed to be carried out as if in a normal wedding. But Rufus never showed up to any of the rehersals, so they didn't know what he was going to do.

Tifa walked up to Reeve, placing a comforting hand around his shoulders. "So, you ready?"

Reeve took a deep breath, fidgeting with his tie. "As ready as I'll ever be.

Cid knocked him in the arm. "Eh, you'll be fine. Everyone's nervous when they get hitched." He jammed a thumb towards his husband. "Bright eyes there almost didn't want to go through with it."

Vincent flushed, balling his fists. "I'm not used to being the center of attention. It had nothing to do with getting married."

Barret snorted. "So, that's why ya kept hiding from everyone."

Vincent opened his mouth to say something, as a few of his so called friends started to laugh, then realized the only retort he had was to admit to it. He just folded his arms and resolved to pout, until Cid made them stop, and came over to cheer him up.

The door creeked open slightly, and the magic cat Cait Sith strolled into the room, bouncing up on the chair. He had replaced his cape and crown with a dicky and a cumberbun. Cait Sith looked up at Reeve and smiled. "Are ya ready, Reeve?"

Reeve's face heated to where he thought he'd start sweating. "I guess so. How's Tseng?"

Cait Sith jumped down from the chair, heading to the vanity mirror. "Just as nervous as you are, but ah guarantee you'll both feel better once ya see how handsome ya both are." He jumped up onto one of the padded chairs, grasping the small pillow, where two rings were tied. He leapt down again, hoisting the pillow in his hands. "All those not in the wedding party, venture to the sancuary… the wedding's about to start."

xXx

As far as the actual wedding was concerned, things went rather smoothly. Surprisingly, Rufus behaved, and Cid was able to make it all the way down and back up the aisle with the president on his arm. He would've been more miserable than he was, if he hadn't noticed the scathing red eyes burning into the back of young ShinRa's head, as the pilot's husband was behind him, hooked onto the tall dark Turk's arm. Poor Cloud was worried about being paired with Reno, but the rambuncious red-head was very well behaved. Yuffie and Elena brought up the rear, before Tseng and Reeve entered opposite each other at the front. Cait Sith was right in his prediction of the betrothed calming upon the sight of each other.

Barret was rather content with not being in the wedding party, seeing as how it gave him the perfect vantage point to get pictures of his beautiful little flower girl. Tifa's job was to actually get the wedding.

The reception was held in a magnificent dining hall, which ShinRa owned. Rufus obviously went all out for this banquet. The decorations were superb. And the cake was a 3 ft tall, white Chocobo… which was, oddly enough, Rude's idea. He just never thought they'd actually do it.

After a couple hours or so, Yuffie sauntered up to where the new happy couple was sitting at their table, enjoying their meals… it just wasn't food. "So." She slapped the table to get their attention. Tseng's eyes narrowed a bit, but Reeve just stared up at the small ninja. "So, what?"

"Sooooooooo… it's a great wedding and all, but you're missing my favorite part."

Tseng leaned over the table, eyes fixed on Yuffie, as he propped his head on his hand. "This isn't your wedding. So that doesn't seem to matter."

"But it's tradition." Yuffie whined. "One of you's gotta throw the beauquet."

Reeve and Tseng exchanged confused looks. Reeve spoke up, turning back to her. "Neither of us had a beauquet, Yuffie."

"Then throw the center-piece." She pointed to the arrangement of flowers on the center of their table.

Tseng sighed. "Would you leave us alone if we throw it?"

Yuffie grinned. "Yes."

"Fine." The head-Turk reached over and pulled the flowers from it's stand, as the small ninja ran through the crowd announcing the new event.

All the girls crammed in the middle of the room. Vincent and Cid had no reason to desire the flowers, and none of the other guys seemed to care enough.

Tseng and Reeve stood in front of the table. They'd flipped a coin, and Reeve was the designated bride. Almost immediately after the beauquet left Reeve's hands, Tseng had pulled him back into his arms, continueing the banquet Yuffie had interupted.

All the hands went up into the air, but the ones that closed around it belonged to the rat-tailed red-head who didn't really want it, but just loved screwing with people. He waved the flowers around in the air, teasing all the angry women and started to run as they chased him.

Reno was stopped shortly, but a dark hand closing around his wrist. He turned in front of him, to see Rude staring down at him. Those deep brown eyes borring into him. Rude wrenched the flowers from his partner's hands. "This catch doesn't count."

Reno grasped for the beauquet as it was raised from his reach. "What the hell, yo?"

"It doesn't count, because you're already engaged."

"… What?"

Rude threw the flowers back into the crowd, pulling a small diamond band from his pocket and sliding it onto Reno's finger.

Reno's eyes widened on the sparkle on his hand. "Damn."

Rude lifted his fiancee's chin to draw their lips together.

The bundle of flowers flew over the crowd, landing directly on Denzel's lap, who had been sitting at one of the tables, completely ignoring everything. He stared down at the slightly smushed petals, falling apart on his leg. He hardly noticed the soft lips before they made contact with his cheek. Denzel looked up at Marlene, feeling his face heat at least three shades upon her innocent smile. The heat moved to his ears, drowning out the chorus of 'awwwwes' that could only be directed towards him.

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_AN: not quite sure why i wanted to write this, but i did.... it just took me far to long to finish. i started, then forgot where i was going with it, for a while. not sur eif i remembered, or if i just made up a different ending, but i do know one thing.... i know what kinda caek i want for my wedding_


End file.
